33 Things I Would Tell My Freshman Self

1. It doesn't matter what you wear to school. Nobody cares. Brush your hair. Put on some deodorant. You'll be fine.
2. Boys are not life. 
Music is life. 
Friends are life. 
Food is life.
3. Study for the ACT! Don't put off taking it...don't wait to sign up at school. TAKE IT NOW.
4. That stupid PSAT you heard about? Yeah, take that seriously. You could get a full ride to college with that high score.
5. Even though you think you are, you are not fat or ugly. You are beautiful. Stop saying you're fat. Oh and stop putting your hair in a ponytail!
6. Put on some makeup. Learn how to use eyeliner! Buy some nice mascara! Have fun! Do it while you still have interest in your appearance! And for goodness sakes, find some concealer for those undereye circles
7. Buy a freaking Chi
8. Eat more bacon. Eat those seconds. Eat that candy. Right now it doesn't matter. In a few years you'll see it 
9. Talk to someone new everyday. Make a bunch of friends. Make new friends. Talk to people. Get to know people. Talk to that girl by herself at the lunch table.
10. Become best friends with a guy so you can always have someone to ask honest relationship questions
11. Spend time with Jesus more. He's so worth it.
12. Invent an app where you can send pics to friends instantly. You'll make millions
13. Take lots of pictures. Take pictures at school, take pictures of places you go, and most importantly, take pictures of people. Pull out that camera and videotape more often.
14. Start working out regularly so its a habit later
15. If you want good grades, do your homework. Now.
16. Be more risky. Try new things. Pick friends over homework 25% of the time
17. Get a twitter and use it.
18. Participate in stuco. Run for treasurer
19. Just because you didnt make the basketball team last year, doesn't mean you cant make it this year
20. Tryout for the plays next year
21. Practice your violin more. Try to convince mom to hire a private lessons teacher
22. Be nice to everyone. You never know when you'll see them again 
23. Go to all the football games. Go to some basketball games. Tryout for bowling. Go to homecoming every year. Go to more dances in general. Go.
24. You will not have the same friends as you did in junior high
25. Take advanced english and history. Otherwise you will have to in college
26. Volunteer more. It's so much fun
27. Surprisingly, not everyone is going to like you
28. Never go roller skating
29. Don't date anyone you wouldn't mind marrying
30. Spend more time with Ashley.
31. Popularity is stupid. Don't be fooled into thinking it's cool
32. Go check out life church. Their youth group is pretty cool.
33. Guess what? "It goes by in the blink of an eye" is not a joke. Seriously. Savor those small moments. High school will go by so fast Appreciate it. Don't ever hate it. Savor it. 

A Letter From Dad

Today, I woke up to a long message on my phone through Facebook messaging. My dad had stayed up until four a.m. typing a letter to me about all he had done for me before I had come back for Christmas Break from college. He also made it clear that he stopped working on the house we moved into because he wanted to spend time with me while I was home. Here is what he said:

        Every day, your mom and I were prepping for your Christmas visit- long before you came back home.We made decisions about this Olathe split-level based on what would make YOU happy. Even the very decision to stay in Olathe, so that you could spend one more Christmas and New Years in Kansas City.We prepared a room for you. It got new carpet, new blinds, new closet door stabilizers-the stain on the ceiling above your bed was even painted. Furniture was carefully selected and rearranged over and over, to try to make it the most comfortable for you. We wanted YOU to be happy. We wanted to buy food you would like and do things with YOU that you would enjoy.

         I went from working 7 days a week on the house, many times working until 3am or 4am, then getting up 3 hours later to start working another 20 hour day- day after day. I wanted to fix all the “little” things before you got here: 

There was no door on your room- only an unpainted door leaning against the wall in the garage. Your room smelled of cat pee and had stains on the carpet. The blinds were shredded by the cats that lived in the room before you did. Even the roof just outside the bedroom window, was loaded with piles of cat “poop” from the neighbor’s cat “visiting” the cats that lived here. The ceiling had collapsed into flakes above where your bed was to be. The room was loaded with dirt- even on the ceiling fan. The room was full of furniture.
         We worked hard to make it just right for you. First we took all the furniture out of the room and had to try to sell it to people on Craigslist- meeting them at all hours of the day and days of the week. Trying to sell a piece at a time. The rest was placed in Ilene’s room for her to use. It was very heavy and falling apart- so the furniture had to be repaired before we could move it. We finally got all the furniture moved out, the boxes of poop loaded kitty litter, removed the cat carrier full of poop. I took the blinds off the window. I cleaned out the closet. Ceiling fans were wiped down, vents vacuumed, shelves wiped down. Bleach was used. KILZ sealing paint was rolled out on the floor to cover the pee and to seal in the smell. New carpet was laid down. New pad. New blinds were measured for and purchased and installed- nice 2” faux wood white ones, like YOU were used to at your old home. Ceilings were scrapped and then painted. A new door was first painted, then installed, walls literally were moved to make it fit at all. New door handles and catches and locks were installed. Door stabilizers were added in closet. Your furniture was moved in. Moved again. And again. Then moved one more time. It had to be just right. Your things were put in your closet. Your bed made. Pictures placed. Then just before you moved in, the hot water heater broke- water flooded our things in storage. It flooded the new carpet. It soaked the tiles in the hall at the bottom of the stairs. Then, the day before you were to be home, the furnace broke. We woke up cold that morning. The furnace was literally installed the day you came home. We now had hot water and a warm bedroom for you.
Since I have moved in here, or been working over here (2 weeks before moving in), I have supervised and helped install a new hot water heater, and new furnace.
           
            By myself, I have installed doors, moved walls, painted walls, painted doors, painted trim, painted baseboard, painted floors, vacuumed, used a wet/dry vac to suck up water, installed door handles, removed door handles, installed hinges, removed hinges, added door knobs, made 30 trips to Home Depot, Lowes, Walmart, Sutherlands, Target, our old house, bleached floors, removed mold, tore out a wall, built new walls, removed old pad, removed old carpet, met with carpet salesmen at 5 different stores and one in my home. Looked at many carpet samples, installed hooks, repaired sink bases, finished sink bases, moved mirrors, installed mirrors, installed closet hooks, removed wiring, replaced a faulty light switch, replaced several burned out bulbs- both fluorescent and regular ones. Fixed 2 lights that had old dangerous wires that were about to burn the house down, installed 9 smoke detectors, and one CO2 detector. Cleaned windows, repaired 2 windows. Installed 2 inch blinds in whole house (almost). Removed wall paper. Carried furniture and used tools until my fingers literally went numb and were cracked and bleeding from use- I had to put on 4 band aids each morning just to be able to use my fingers/hands. My back was having spasms from carrying heavy furniture out of one house and into this new one. I cleaned cobwebs, I mowed the lawn twice- Once to cut up the thick leaves, then again to suck them into bags to be thrown away. I cleaned out the gutter leaves, I buried cable that was sticking out of the ground, I raked leaves. I swept leaves. I bagged leaves. I swept floors. I painted the basement floor three times. I added insulation to the hot water pipes. I put metal tape on the vent pipe, so that we would die of CO2 poisoning, I worked on the mailbox. I worked on the garage door. I installed an antennae, I used chemicals to remove glue from shower walls, along with hand scraping off old paint. I installed a plug in bottom of shower, so that it wouldn’t leak water all over the floor. I added a stabilizer bar to shower so that the door would actually shut. I removed the light & light bulbs in the master shower. I rebuilt the hole in the wall in the Master shower. I plastered and painted it. I installed a new light above the master sink. I rearranged the mirror and rehung it. I painted all the doorways in the hall and the doorways leading into the bedrooms. I installed outlet covers and light switch covers in many rooms. I helped clean every room in the house. I took windows apart to clean them inside and out. I gathered up boards with nails sticking out of them, from almost every room in the house. I put door knobs back together. I gathered up house parts and car parts from all over the house and organized them. I oiled the chain on the garage door opener. I super glued a seal back down on a shower. I moved a towel bar to a new location in master bath. I reset a tripped GFI outlet. I cleaned out and replaced the water filter on the humidifier- and bought a new valve and had it installed, so that it would work properly again. I bought new valves and water pipes for the hot water heater install. I added an end piece to the drain hose, so that water would go down drain, instead of flooding the basement again. I fixed the hardware on the closet doors- all 10 of them. I cleaned out the air conditioner compressor.  I prepped a cable for the internet. I fixed the kitchen pantry doors. I reset the clocks on the stove and microwave. I screwed the railing back on the stairs. I reset the thermostat so that it would stop dropping the temperature down too low. I painted several ceilings. I put patch in several holes. I removed many, many nails from the wall, along with push pins. I put a filter in the furnace- it had none. I adjusted the hot water heater. I painted railings. I put registers back on floor, where there were none. I tightened the toilet lid. I moved the sink base over. I adjusted shelves. I checked wiring. I added bolts to the garage doors, so that they would close. I repaired loose deck siding. I added insulation foam. I added a pull to a ceiling fan. I cleaned out the sliding glass doors, so they would open and close easier. I removed curtain rods. I raised the entryway light. I oiled the front door. I replaced a burned out light in the refrigerator. I cleaned out the ice maker. I pulled large objects out of the guest bathroom drain. I replaced a ton of burned out light bulbs. I slid flooring pieces back into place. I cleaned out showerheads, so they would not be so clogged. I screwed down return air registers. I plunged a toilet. I fixed and reattached kitchen vertical blinds. I painted whole rooms- and closets. I tightened windows on storm doors. I reattached trim. I oiled door tracks and hinges. I moved furniture into EVERY room in the house. I screwed down the electrical pipe going to the washer and dryer. I searched Craigslist and found a shelf for your bathroom, drove to Lenexa to pick it up- so you would have a place for YOUR bathroom stuff.

           I stopped working on the house (except some when you have been asleep) so I could spend time with you and interact with YOU during your Christmas break.
Now, it seems you stay out late with Caleb, then have to sleep in until noon. Then get dressed. I don’t get to do anything with you. You are either on the computer or on your phone or running around with mom. We have got to go to church together ONCE. We have had a few meals together. We had an hour once to “shop” for Christmas. But it would be nice to get to be with you more. Now you are running off to Karen’s Tuesday. Every day, it is something else. Now I have been up until 4 am writing this and will be so tired tomorrow. That is all. Love dad."

My dad is my best friend and I don't want that to change. I didn't mean to leave him in the dust, just had to take care of textbooks early in the break while seeing my boyfriend, family, and friends before spending time with him. He was supposed to get the extra time when I was home but then I didn't want to leave. I'm sorry, dad. I guess I have to get my priorities straight.

Perspectives

I am taking this course called Perspectives. It's a 16 week course to help believers from all walks of life see how they can get threaded into God’s story of redeeming people from every tribe, tongue, and nation to Himself. From Genesis to the prophets, Jesus Christ to the early church, and Constantine to today, I will see how God has been moving, how the global Church has responded, and what the greatest needs in world evangelization remain today. It isn’t a class about missions, but a course on how every believer can be intimately woven into the story of God using His people to be a blessing to all the peoples of the earth. 

Perspectives has been a great new experience for me. I am so glad I decided to take this class. After I had decided to take it, my Aunt signed up too. It has been a really fun experience so far, especially since I can ask her if I have questions about the review. I have listened to all the speakers with the greatest intention to take in their every word. They have some great perspectives themselves. I also really like that the study guide goes along with the readings. I didn’t realize it would be so intense, but I am up to the challenge! This course is really eye-opening to circumstances, ideas, and viewpoints that I have never thought about before. Each chapter introduces me to new ways of thinking about verses I have read over and over. And I never knew that there was so much in the Bible about missions! The authors of these articles are using scriptures I’ve heard a million times and completely flipping my perspective one hundred eighty degrees in a better direction. I can’t believe how this course has changed my life and my view of most verses and of missions in general. I am so excited to continue this course!

I have learned a lot over these last five weeks. Being a high school student while taking this class is really opening my eyes to the rest of the world in contrast to the daily routine I am so used to. I know now that there are 16,000 people groups that are unreached. That seems like a lot more than I thought there were. With all the many times I hear about missionaries going out on trips it seems like I am not needed because there is already enough called to do the work. But over these past weeks I have realized that I and every other believer are to be a part of this global purpose God has for us. We are to evangelize the world and we have a lot of work to do. From the first week I learned from Philip Nelson that the biggest ability we have with God is availability. I have come to understand that I need to be available for everything and anything God wants me to be. I found out the first week that seven countries have launched perspectives classes which seems like a lot to me, but in retrospective, it’s really not, because there are over a hundred countries. I also learned the first week that I need to integrate my story into His story because His story is history. I love that it fits together into like a little pun. After learning that a billion and half people haven’t heard the gospel, I am ready to run over and tell them right now. The fact that those many people have not heard about Jesus is so appalling to me.      

Throughout the many weeks of taking this class I have also learned that the purpose of missions is the glory of God. It’s not to have more people in heaven. It’s not for creating a Jesus cult. The sole purpose that God has revealed for missions is for the worship of Himself. Now that I say that it, it kind of sounds selfish of Him, but I understand it in a non prideful way. I have also began to question what my identity. I have ever really thought of myself as anything but a Christian, student, and lifeguard. But I am following Jesus and to disciple other people. My identity is Jesus and I model after his life. I also learned just this past week that not only did Jesus call to disciple the world, but he did it in three different ways. He systematically called to the Jews for faith in Him, of His own people, in His own nation. Secondly, he sent seventy disciples out to the seventy gentile nations at the time. And lastly, but not least, he called all peoples from all nations to follow him. It was a threefold mandate. I had really never thought about Matthew 28:18-20 that way before. I have really enjoyed learning these and many other new things and look forward to learning so much more. We are blessed to be a blessing!

Click here to find out more about Perspectives

Dreams

Night dreams.

Day dreams.

Nightmares.

Late Night thoughts.

Discouraging thoughts most of the time.

All those famous people you want to meet. 

All those things you want to do with your life. 

Every possible combination of a perfect day you can think of.

Am I the only one who lays in bed at night thinking about all the things I could have done?

Am I the only one who lays in bed at night thinking about the past?

Am I the only one who lays in bed at night thinking about the tomorrow?

Am I the only one who lays in bed at night thinking about the future?

Am I the only who daydreams before I fall asleep into a deep unconsciousness? 

Am I the only who has a dream of a day that I wish would happen in real life, 

or a dream that I never want to cross my mind again?

You wish.

You hope.

You believe.

You convince yourself that it's gonna happen.

But sometimes, it's impossible.

Maybe a 1% chance, but only if you try with everything you've got.

You feel like your deepest desire at that moment is to find out who that person really is.

You make up scenarios in your mind that you think are so great but know are never going to happen.

You start believing but you just eventually give up even though you want it to happen so bad.

You get inspired.

You see a video online, a TV show, movie, or start talking more about it, 

and the feeling of urgency overwhelms you.

Your focus is on one thing and one thing only. 

One person.

One goal.

One event.

One circumstance.

One situation.

One more chance.

One more time.

I've had some really weird dreams, and some really scary ones.

I've had a nightmare about Hell once.

And you can't get out.

There's no chicken exit.

There's no magic lamp to rub.

There's no apologies accepted.

God won't hesitate to say no. 

He won't listen to your apologies.

You are there burning for all of time.

I've also had a dream about Heaven.

It's wonderful.

Beyond anything you could ever imagine.

And the only thing you have to do is repent of your sins and follow Jesus.

That's it.

Sounds simple right?

I think so.

You don't have to live in a nightmare forever.

Why not live in a dream?

The best dream you've ever had. For eternity.

It's your choice though.

20 Back-to-School Supplies Organization Tips

So while putting my class folders together today, I decided to share some of my favorite tips for purchasing and using school supplies. This is my last year in high school, and I just wanted to help students out. Hope you enjoy!

1. School supplies are always cheaper after school starts...only buy the stuff you need before the first day. Otherwise wait for the sales.

2. Cheap school supplies are 50 cents and under, cheaper school supplies are 25 cents and under, and the cheapest school supplies are 10 cents and under. Don't buy filler paper, packs of mechanical pencils, crayons, glue, spiral notebooks, packs of erasers, folders, rulers, index cards, or pencil sharpeners for more than 5 cents.

3. Scan ads vigorously. You can find the basics of what you need for a penny. And if not, don't spend more than $5 for anything but a backpack or a zip around binder.

4. The best quality, cheapest backpacks are found at TJ Max, not Wal-Mart. They currently have Jansport backpacks for $17.99.

5. Don't buy a rolling backpack. The hallways are too packed for them and eventually it will get too short for you as you grow.

6. I recommend a tote bag as a backpack in middle school such as an Aeropostle tote or a Vera Bradley tote with many pockets, and an actual backpack in high school. That is what I did and I think it is cheaper that way. With tote bags you can use them for two years and after as carry-ons that you don't have to worry about getting dirty. Normal backpacks or messenger bags only last one year, but are more private and easier to carry.

7. There is no need to purchase a planner/agenda/calendar because your school will probably provide one. Only buy one later if they don't. Same with rulers-there are usually inch and centimeter markings on the back edge of your school-provided planner.

8. You only need to buy 1 or 2 spiral notebooks ahead of time...you might need them for maybe two classes. Buy more after if you need to, and remember, college ruled is best.

9. Buy and use color-coded (or different designs) plastic pocket folders for each class. (Also, another tip is a folder with just paper in it. That way, you can just grab a piece of paper real quick.)  Only buy a binder if a teacher requests you get one for their class and/or you have a due date to get one. Otherwise, binders cause your backpack to be more heavy than it needs to be.

10. College-ruled filler paper is a must. You need it because you will eventually turn in assignments for math and rough drafts in english. If you have to tear it out of that spiral notebook I told you not to buy, the edges are messy and teachers don't like them. I recommend college ruled because there are more lines and smaller writing requires your handwriting to be neater.

11. Get mechanical pencils, not #2 (unless you want to). They are usually cheaper and you can throw them away if they were a cent for a 5 pack. Scantrons actually work with mechanical pencils (unlike your teachers claim) and the only reason to buy them is for the ACT/SAT.

12. Find or purchase a small pencil BAG. They are more durable to wear and tear, not loud when you open and shut them, and usually hold more than a pencil box or one of those hard plastic slide-open ones. Get a small one so that u can easily find it in and grab it from your backpack before class starts. The essentials for a pencil bag include:
2 pencils
3 pens
3 highlighters
Eraser
Post-it notes
Sharpie (for some odd reason, you            always end up needing one)

13. Don't go overboard on buying tons of colors of highlighters and pens.

Highlighters: you only need three at the most, in three different colors. One to use, one to lend out, and one just in case of a run out or a break.

Pens: you need three maximum in different colors unless you're one of those really enthusiastic girls who has to use a thousand different colors to color code your notes.
You need a black one for when that one teacher requests you write in ink, a red one to correct papers in class and peer edit, and a blue one just in case one of those becomes unusable or to lend out.

14. Invest in a nice texas instrument graphing calculator. Make sure you wait until your math teacher tells you which one to get, but buy the cheapest one you can find. My school has the option to rent one per year for $20, but buying one to use is actually cheaper if you use it from 6th grade on through college. They run usually from $100 to $150.

15. Buy tons of 3 x 5 index cards. You will need them for many different classes. Spanish and English vocabulary, math terms, history dates and events, science terms and vocabulary, the possibilities are endless. But please only pay 25 cents or less for them.

16. If you already have them, you might need to use post-it notes. If you don't have any, any size, don't worry about buying them unless you see the need for them or are required to. I use them for numerous reasons and always end up buying more. Some things you can use them for are:
marking sections off in spiral notebooks or tabs in a binder
adding a quick note such as a due date or test question a teacher gives you to your planner
labeling folders until you memorize each classes color/design
marking your class notes by different sections or important ideas
marking english reading novels for quotes and figures of speech
writing homework assignments on or putting due dates on worksheets

17. Always have an eraser with you. Always. You will love me for making you buy an eraser.

18. Bring a book or magazine to school and keep it in your backpack in case you have extra free time in class and have finished your homework. This way you are less likely to have your phone out and get in trouble.

19. You need to have a refillable/reusable plastic water bottle. You will get thirsty. You will run out of hall passes to go to the water fountain. You will need water.

20. In high school, you rarely need to bring your textbooks to class. Leave them in your locker during the day and only take them out if the teacher tells you to bring them the next day or to bring them home for assignments. Otherwise, you don't need to carry around that extra weight.

And there you have it! My top 20 tips for middle and high school students school supplies! I hope you found this helpful and let me know if you liked or successfully used this advice. Thanks for reading and check out my other posts :)

New Beginnings

Wow! This is incredible!! I haven't written a blog post in over a year!! And SO much has happened since then...I can't even describe everything good that has God has blessed me with in the past year!!

Firstly, I would like to make a shout out to a very dear friend/mentor (whom I have almost lost touch with); she just got engaged!! Jami Jensen, my babysitter back in the olden days of 2006, (not so long ago haha) has grown up and fallen in love! I'm mentioning her because she is subscribed to my blog and she just announced it. (Thanks!!) So congratulations to Logan and Jami!! I hope God blesses you both, your marriage, and your future beyond what you deserve or expect!! Praying for you guys :)

Secondly, wow my life has changed for the better since I last posted! I have learned so much from mistakes, gained new friends, bettered friendships, strengthened my relationship with Christ, been blessed with a whole new church family, gotten my braces off, made some important decisions, and received two new jobs.

Not to mention that I just got back from summer camp a week ago!

I would love to tell y'all about everything exciting and so positive in my life right now! I feel like everything is such a blessing!! Like nothing bad has happened in a while!! My dad finally got a stable job, my boss is so flexible with my hectic schedule, and I'm taking an online summer class that is pretty easy.

Lately, I have been blessed with many trips this summer and I had a great junior year...hopefully senior year is even better!

I went to Louisville this April and had an awesome experience; right after school got out I received the opportunity to help out the tornado victims in Oklahoma; in the middle of June I went camping in the Ozarks, and I just got back from my first time in Chicago!!
God is too good. (Jk he can never be too good.)

My second big news is my transition to a different church. Last summer I worked as a lifeguard at Spring Hill Aquatic Center. I had to work everyday I was in town because I was out of town so much. Since this included Sundays, I honestly stopped going to church. My dad started going to Life Church because he wasn't happy with ours. So when my seasonal job as a lifeguard ended, my dad and I went to Life Church together...and I LOVED it!!! Everything about it!! Great pastor, great people, great messages, and it was so alive and real compared to my old church.

One thing that I struggled with, though, was the youth group. I didn't know any people in it, and I was scared to join because my old church's youth group was very exclusive and left me out even though I had gone there my whole life. I was a wimp and kept refusing to go when people invited me. (I think I scare people with my enthusiasm about how great it is now; how ironic.) Anyway, I finally started going with my new friend, Dana, and it was life-changing!! Amazing!!! The student ministries pastor was so alive and energetic. It was just the beginning of my renewed relationship with Jesus...I continued going there and have made many new friends since and invited tons of people I was already friends with :)

Along this new exciting path, I had met this crazy girl named Dana. We met when I started babysitting her siblings and they had just moved to town. At first I was so jealous that she had a car (truck) and had an inspiring relationship with Jesus. I found out we went to the same school AND church, so we saw each other a lot. As I got to know her better, we became friends, and now we are best friends :)  She is my closest friend, and my mentor. It's amazing how the quality of a friendship determines how close you are, not just how long you have been friends. We are truly best friends and we just have fun everytime we hang out. She is such a blessing in my life and I hope we remain friends for many years to come.

Another new thing about my physical self is that I have had my braces removed, my teeth whitened, new sealants on my teeth, and my teeth added to. All of this happened between November last year and April this year. I missed school every Wednesday for a dentist appointment during that time. It was worth all the cost and time in the end, though, because now my teeth are white, my bite is correct, and 

I don't have gaps anymore. I really appreciate it because I grew up with terrible teeth. Such a blessing in disguise.

Following along with my opening paragraphs, I mentioned some important decisions being made. One of those decisions is that I decided to attend College of the Ozarks after I graduate college. I have three top majors: graphic design, education, or missions. I have no decided on what I want to major in yet.

Another important decision I have made is to not date or have a boyfriend until I am in college. I have made this choice because I believe I, and most boys my age, are still maturing now. Also, because I want to wait until God sends along the perfect match, my one true love, who he has chosen. Although I do have "crushes" and will continue to have interest in guys throughout my senior year, I will try to be as patient and trusting with God as I can. For now, guy friends are my best friends. 

Lastly, I have gotten two jobs recently since last fall. Both are related to lifeguarding and I still hold the same postitions. In November last year, I became irritated when I never had spending money. (I didn't have a job for two months and I couldn't handle it). So I applied at a gym and hoped for the best. As you know, I got the job! My boss told me my pay would increase if I took a class and got certified as a WSI. So I did, and I started working there in January teaching swim lessons. I did that until the end of May. Then I had a meeting with my boss and we found that I couldn't teach swimming lessons during the summer or lifeguard on a regular schedule because I was going to be gone so much. She suggested I become a permanent sub for the aquatics staff. I took her offer and felt relieved. Then, a few days into June, my mom was annoyed about me sitting around the house doing nothing, so she pushed me to apply for another lifeguard job. I applied quickly online just for fun, closed out, and didn't give it a second thought. Then in the morning I got a call. The lady on the phone was from that job and she wanted to interview THAT day! I was so surprised I had gotten the job so easily and quickly! 

Anyway, that's about all that I have to talk about myself, I just wanted to update anyone interested :)

In the future I would like to do more interesting blog posts, especially anything y'all reccommend :) so leave me some suggestions in the comments below or email me at: imanna95@yahoo.com

Thanks for reading and please comment or follow me :)

The One I Miss the Most

      “Mimi, how do the clothes’ makers make the picture on your shirt?”, my little eight
year old self asked. My grandma then proceeded to take me to her bedroom where her
sewing things were kept. She said, “It’s called embroidery”. Mimi took out her sewing
box and threaded a needle. While my mom and sister were still waiting in the other room,
she helped me embroidery a whole little scene with a flower, tree, the sun, and some
grass. She asked me if I wanted to learn how to sew, and I said “Yes!” She taught me how
to hand-stitch right at that moment.

      The next day, when we were over at her apartment, she took me over to JCPenny without saying anything. We walked into the pajama department of JCPenny and started down the pajama aisles. We found some Barbie pajamas and she bought them for me. I still wondered what we were going to do. When we got back to the apartment, she laid the pajama shirt out on a table, and then went and dug out her sewing box. She helped me embroidery my name “Anna Gibson” on the back of the shirt in pink.

     About a year later, I found some old fabric that I didn’t think was very
attractive, but it was special to me because it was from my Mimi. We sewed together a little
mismatched-fabric quilt for my Barbie bed. My Mimi found some cotton for it and we filled it. I
have kept the piece of fabric, pajamas, and blanket, and have not let my sister wear my special
pajamas since.

     In fifth grade, we got a packet for Thanksgiving Break to write in and answer
questions in paragraph form. One of the questions was about how special grandparents are. I had
three at the time, and she was the only one not in a nursing home. I wrote about her, and yet that same Thanksgiving Break, something very tragic happened. My Mimi was still in her apartment, but
confined to a hospital bed in her living room because she was diagnosed with cancer. I was really
mad at the cancer. Mimi was my best friend. I slept over with her, went swimming with her, and
sometimes we just hung out. Her apartment complex had ice cream at three in the afternoon, and
we would walk over and get some everyday. I would go to her aerobics classes with her and I still
remember the exercises they had us do. She was my favorite grandparent I had at the time and
the one I was closest to. I feel really sad when I think about how my sister never gets to
experience what a great grandma she was. She never saw Mimi as the active, loving, person I admired so much.

      The most difficult part was on the day after Thanksgiving. My mom wanted to visit her,
and see how she was doing. I didn’t really feel like going that day and kept saying that I didn’t
want to go. But we went anyway. I haven’t forgotten what I saw when we arrived. My dad was
there, on his knees next to her bed, holding her hand and talking to her. He kept repeating “Pray
to Jesus, you can go now”. The nurse was by the window crying and yelling out to God. My
mom pushed me into another room and said “Don’t look,” and “Call Aunt Karen and tell her
Mimi is dying”.

     When I was dialing, I disobeyed and looked anyway. Mimi sat up, opened her
eyes real wide like she was seeing heaven, opened her mouth faintly like she was going to say something, and then she closed her eyes, and was gone. (My dad said later that “As soon as Mary and the girls had arrived, she knew it was okay to go.”) Just as that was happening, my Aunt Karen answered the phone and said “Hello?” (My Aunt Karen, Uncle Benny, and father were her children. She was the only one not there.) I was barely able to choke out the words “Mimi died”. I will never forget what she said. “Oh. Okay.”, with as much sympathy as a piece of wood. It was almost too much for my ten year old little frame to handle. I hung up and fell down crying because of how apathetic she was. I will never forget that day.

      I think that’s why I am so close to my dad. He reminds me of her. Sometimes, I just want
to go visit her in heaven. It makes me collapse on the floor in agony when I think about her being
gone. Most of the time I think of it as a short vacation that she’s left for and I’ll join her
someday. But the memories still always come flooding back and sometimes there are new ones. I
miss her immensely, but I know that one day I’ll get to walk those streets of gold with her.